Bernice Stevens

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Comment by Leaning Institute on April 8, 2009 at 11:41pm

I was the youngest child born into a family where my parents were both leaners. Even if this story stopped now, you could see that I was pretty fortunate. I wasn’t born with the proverbial “silver spoon,” in fact my situation was quite the opposite. It would take a number of years passing after my entry into this world before I would realize how fate had dealt me a pretty good hand. I believe there is a special power between sisters and the strength created by their relationship is one of the greatest things God has created. When I was born, I got two titles immediately, one was “son” and the other was “brother.” It is obvious how I got the title “son.” But the title “brother” could have variations. You see, I could be a brother because I had a brother, brothers, sister or sisters. Well in my case, it was all sisters, four as a matter of fact. I was the baby and would always remain the youngest child.

There were four wonderful sisters, but I want to tell you in this story about the first-born sister, Bernice. Approximately fifteen years separate our birthdates, so I don’t remember much about our relationship until I was about six years old. She left our home and went to nursing school when I was about four years old. As I look back and think about her in my sixth year, good memories start to pop up like wild flowers. She is the one I assign credit for having a party for me on my sixth birthday. She gave me my first birthday card with a little, round, metal pen attached to it. The number six was printed on the metal pen. On the card was an image of a horse on a merry-go-round. I still have that card. She was also there with me on my first day of school in the first grade. Back then the country kids didn’t go to kindergarten. She got married when I was six and she bought me my first little suit that I wore when I was the ring bearer. By the way, my mother still has that suit.

As a little kid growing up in South Carolina, Christmas was the biggest event of the entire year. I can remember the anticipation of school letting out for two weeks for Christmas break; just checking off the days one by one until the teacher would say, “merry Christmas, be safe, and I will look forward to seeing you when you come back.” Even the ride home on the bus seemed so different that last day before Christmas break. Usually Christmas day came about the middle of the break and that gave me a week to circle all of the toys in the Sears catalogue that I was sure Santa would bring to me. By this time I truly believed in Santa with all my heart and soul. As Christmas Eve approached, there would be a few presents under the tree. Presents that my other sisters would have wrapped and placed under a tree cut from the woods or edge of a field somewhere. There wasn’t enough money in our family budget for many extra things, including Christmas presents. I wasn’t worried about the presents at all, because I had mailed my “wish list” early to Santa at the North Pole. Now, I knew all I had to do was just survive the time slowly ticking away until Christmas morning.
Bernice was living away with her husband, James, and I knew they were to arrive at our house on Christmas Eve. There was no doubt I loved Bernice, but in my six year old mind, if anticipation was the prize, her coming home faced stiff competition with Santa and all the toys he was bringing that I would find on Christmas morning under the tree.

Our house was located near a dirt road where only a few cars passed. The closest house to us was approximately one-quarter of a mile away. Therefore, things were pretty quiet outside our house Christmas Eve. There was some hustle and bustle on the inside, but still fairly quiet. I can remember one of my sisters shouting, “They are here, Bernice and James are here!” I was excited and ran to the door to see them, too. When I saw their car, James was driving up to the house, but he went past the designated parking area in our yard, and actually backed up near our front porch steps. The car finally came to a rest, the lights went dark, and James and Bernice stepped out of their car. It was a large car, a Plymouth, I think. They were soon surrounded by my sisters and everyone was hugging and exchanging greetings. Then it was my parent’s turn to hug and tell them how glad they were that they had arrived safely and they wanted them to come on inside for some treats. I waited and they gave me hugs, too.
Bernice, said, “Let’s unload the car first, and then we can go inside and relax and not have to come back outside into the cool night.” I thought it kind of odd that my sisters were gathered close to the trunk of Bernice’s car. As James was opening the trunk, it seemed that they were leaning closer and closer to the trunk. As soon as that trunk came open and its light came on, there in the trunk of that car was the most presents I had ever seen in one place. The presents were neatly wrapped in many different types and colors of wrapping paper. Bernice positioned herself close to the trunk and began handing presents to my sisters. She would usually give some kind of a very tender warning, such as, that’s heavy, be careful, or that is fragile, so be extra careful. As they were carrying the presents into the house, they would read the attached card and announce the intended recipient. Bernice allowed me to carry small presents, but she had a way of making me feel like I was doing a big job and she trusted me to do it well. Before long, the trunk was being emptied by Bernice and all her helpers, and presents under the tree covered a large area on the floor. Finally, everyone and all of the presents were in the house. It was a wonderful sight to behold, all those presents under the tree. I stood close to them and wished I could open just one of several presents that had my name on it.
Everyone finally turned in for the night and I just lay in my bed too excited to sleep. Sleep finally came and the next thing I remember was someone saying, “You had better get up because Santa Claus has already been. On the way to the tree, I noticed the empty milk glass and crumbs from the cookies left for Santa. I could hardly wait to find all the gifts that were on my “wish list” that I had mailed to Santa. Much to my surprise, the pile of presents looked the same as they did before I went to bed. I didn’t get the things that I had wished for, but Bernice made sure we all had a great Christmas. I started to believe more in Bernice and less in Santa. I could understand why my sisters had been so excited when Bernice and James came and he backed the car up to the steps.
Bernice made my childhood Christmas experiences so special. There had to be a lot of time, effort, and money invested on her part to give to us when all we had to give her was our thanks. Sometimes she didn’t even get our thanks because she had no desire to steal the show from old Santa. She wanted to make sure it was his special time, too.
Bernice has been a leaner as long as I can remember and has had a special gift for creating “leaning moments” with those fortunate people in her life, including me. I am certain that a life filled with “leaning moments” will trump a “silver spooned” life without “leaning moments” anytime. Thanks Bernice.
I love you so much.

Comment by Michele Murphy on February 5, 2009 at 7:30pm

Aunt Bernice and Little Tanner

Comment by Melissa Zink on January 26, 2009 at 8:15pm

The first time I met Bernice was here at the Institute. What a sweet and kind woman. She gave me a great big hug, and that smile of hers never left her face, in fact it was so contagious I smiled for days after meeting her, just because, she was HER :) I brought our son cooper in to visit his father that day, and she ran around that building with him, talking, and picking him up to look out the windows. My gosh, he had so much fun, I'll never forget the look on both of their faces when they finally came back from their adveture through the building, they both looked like a little kid in a candy store!!! They had the best time, which in turn made me so happy. THAT is what Leaning moments are all about!!! I look back on that day and just smile..I hope someday soon we can all have more leaning moments together!!